Hold my hand

I saw you at the examination hall and I knew you weren’t the brightest of the lot. But your goofiness made me smile. I don’t know if you noticed that. I don’t know if you remember seeing me there.
It was a long time ago.
We were just kids back then.
But that goofy smile got stamped in my head.

29/03/Y2K
When we add the element of time to a certain things, the emotions evolve. So they did.
When I saw you again a few years later I didn’t just smile, my heart fluttered. I felt the butterflies. All I wanted to do was to be with you in any capacity. Running around, fighting with you, calling you names I did not mean. I did it all and you did it too, didn’t you?
Then one day you said you’d call me. But not on my Landline. You said you’d call me at my best friend’s place and gave me an ambigious time. 3,4,5pm just wait for me you said. And I waited. The phone did not ring and we just kept looking at it. Finally, I realised that it wasn’t going to happen and that made me cry a little.
But next day, you acted like nothing had happened and we went on like that.
A few days later we were to go camping and I did not have high hopes to be honest. I was just going to enjoy myself and do my bit. No swaying I told myself. All that dedication fell off the cliff when I saw you and that smile again. DAMN.
Our play was a bust. After all that practice, we just blew it. What I was happy about was the time I spent with you during those practice sessions. A memory I plan to cherish for lifetime. There was campfire and people were playing games, dancing around the campfire and a lot was happening but the place wasn’t well lit you know. When we sat down, all of a hudden you held my hand, so tight…it felt like you’d never let it go. But in like 2 minutes you did.
The trip ended and you left. No words exchanged, no feelings conveyed, nothing. And that was kind of it. You left the school without a word.
I never thought you’d come back.
You had my nunber but you never called as well.
So I thought it would be wise to close this chapter. After all, it was just 2 minutes of hand holding.
Two years later… you came back. You were different. We saw each other from a distance. We didn’t really speak at all. The special bond got dissolved with time. I was okay with that. It wasn’t like I was in deep love or something.
Then I came to see you dance at a competition. I sat right next to you and you held my hand again. This time in a well lit space. And you kept holding it till almost…almost the end of the night. I felt the sparks, I felt the magic. A magic that vanished next the morning.
It’s hard to say what did it mean. But I know that we felt something and it was mutual. It was lukewarm attraction. That died a slow death.

Photo by Sdf Rahbar on Unsplash

Originally published at https://iamispiritualist.com on May 16, 2022.

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